Learning from Cambor

His is a serious and solemn face, and he looks so much like Paul when he was young—the curve of his ear, the light thin bangs, that look of worried waiting—that every time I see that photograph I have to look away. 

From The Book of Mercy by Kathleen Cambor, this is a good example of a sentence that does more than one thing at once. The first three phrases of the sentence are direct statements of description of two characters; after that, the reaction of a third character implies questions that will encourage readers to continue reading.

• “His is a serious and solemn face” describes one character with alliterative abstractions. Those abstractions have implications and characterize.
• The next phrase, “he looks so much like Paul when he was young” suggests a familial relationship (probably) and the passage of time.
• Dashes add specifics to “young,” “the curve of his ear, the light thin bangs, that look of worried waiting,” without separating those specifics from the rest of the sentence in the way parenthesis would have. “Worried waiting” gives readers alliteration again, echoing the first phrase.
• “Every time I see that photograph I have to look away,” is a reaction to the similar appearances that characterizes the third character in the sentence. That reaction is almost certainly the result of a relationship (Who has photographs of strangers they have to look away from?) and a complicated one, one full of emotions. What makes the relationship this way? What’s the history implied here? You’ll have to read on to see.

Consider drafting a sentence like this one as an exercise of your own.