Janet Burroway, in addition to her excellent writing on the craft of fiction, writes exemplary short stories and novels. One of these is “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been.” Based on true crimes, the story includes an account of two men convincing a young girl to leave her home with them so her family can be safe. I can imagine weeks of craft discussion about the story, but for now, here are some thoughts based on three quotations from the story.

The main character, Connie, is spending lots of time around her house during the summer, thinking about the boys she meets despite her mother’s efforts: “But all the boys fell back and dissolved into a single face that was not even a face, but an idea, a feeling,” Rather than moving from an abstraction to specific details, Burroway gives readers Connie’s thoughts as they move from specifics to an abstraction, a feeling. This characterizes Connie; the boys are part of a general idea she has about her life. It also contrasts her with Arnold Friend, who focuses on her specifically, including knowing details about her and her family so well that his threats are especially persuasive.  So, more specifically, movement from details to an abstraction can show readers an aspect of a character’s emotional life.

Arnold Friend, one of the men who lures Connie out of her house, says to her, “I’m gonna be your friend, honey.” Several times in the story, he tries to tell Connie what she thinks and feels, that she expected him to visit, her plans for the afternoon, and that her suspicions are meaningless. What characters presume to tell other characters characterizes. Does one character use language to communicate, negotiate, or try to dominate other characters?

“You want me to pull out the phone?” are the first words Arnold Friend’s accomplice Ellie Oscar says in the story. They might be the only words he says. Speech is an effective strategy for characterization, and the first words a character says can create a powerful first impression for readers.