Craft in a metaphor (eight)

Here is a quotation collage from Peter Ho Davies’s The Art of Revision:

[I]t might help to modify our terms and to consider our initial sense of a story as a hypothesis, and what we know about it as provisional—theory, in essence…. [A] draft might be seen as an experiment designed to test that hypothesis…. Fiction indeed might be understood as a kind of thought experiment. What is a lie in search of the truth, after all–Picasso’s definition of art—if not a form of provisional knowledge?… New hypotheses can be tested with each draft—what if I cut this? what if I expand that? what if I shifted the time frame? or the point of view?… Without a flawed hypothesis, we can’t find our way to a true one.

Learning from Moore

Here are two paragraphs from Liz Moore’s God of the Woods:

She saw everything. She sat on the edge of the stage that overlooked the community room, watching her campers in all of their triumphs and failures, the ones having genuine fun, the ones pretending to have it.

If she believed in a God, it was in one who functioned something like Louise in this moment: rooting for her charges from afar, mourning alongside them when they were rejected, celebrating every small victory that came their way. She noticed the lonely ones, the ones at the edge of the crowd; she felt in her heart a sort of wild affection for them, wanted to go to them, to stand next to them and pull them tightly to her side; and yet she also knew that to intervene in this way would disrupt something sacred that—at twelve and thirteen and fourteen years old—they were learning about themselves and the world. And this, too, was how she thought of God.

Consider characterization by thoughts about the divine. Characters might not believe at all or might not believe as aggressively and fervently as the most devout evangelists or believe to various changing degrees. What characters consider divine (their money, spouse, time with their phone or family, God) reveals them to readers as well. Does what characters consider divine put them at odds with some of the other characters around them? Does it make them a member of a community or organization? How do they feel about that membership? How do people important to them feel about it? If you’re writing literary realism, is there a faith tradition you want to mention specifically? If you’re writing fantasy, do you need to invent a pantheon? How might meeting aliens change your characters ideas about all of this? What other life events might strengthen or weaken a character’s resolve, whatever their position?

Moore’s paragraphs above quickly show readers Louise’s view of the world, other characters in it, the setting, and a bit about her view of herself. That kind of quick characterization is valuable for writers.

Learning from Rundell

What part of a character enters the room first? What is a reader’s very first impression? Consider this sentence from Katherine Rundell’s Impossible Creatures: “His eyebrows were so bushy they would, Christopher thought, enter a room several seconds before the rest of him.” A single sentence characterizes the point-of-view character (Christopher) and the character they are meeting.

Sometimes, the first part of a character to enter a room is their reputation (see Voldemort and everything that is said and is not said about him). In contrast, consider Darth Vader’s arrival in Star Wars: Episode IV—A New Hope. Visually, Vader is very different than the environment around him. The music suggests a reputation, possibly, but his actions after he arrives show viewers who he is.

Consider the value of being premeditated about this; you might decide whether a character has a reputation that precedes them (and what the presentation of the reputation might reveal about the character who makes it) or if a character’s actions almost as soon as they arrive reveal them.

Submitting

The latest version of the query hook for THE WILLOWBREAKERS:

Raising a strange child you’re not sure is yours. Suffocating under swarms of ghosts. Being forgotten in a family of strangers. Beating back wolves with an inherited sword. Each of the Willowbreaker children and their mother have battles to fight to keep themselves and each other safe and fed. Through negotiating with their evil stepfather, fighting monsters in strange dimensions, combating the dead, and confronting a spectral king’s dangerous daughter, they fight to stay a family. Maybe.

I’ve also changed the title to GUARDIAN, GHOST, MOON, MOTHER.

Interesting language 8

Nothing could be done about the fact that he was only a homeschooled kid, no matter what he said, and she was a recently graduated senior taking on the cross of womanhood before her time. . . . Speaking in a calm and sensible manner, he completely failed to persuade his mother that he knew what he was doing.

From The Mighty Red by Louise Erdrich, these are two excellent examples of sentence-level tension.

Reading 2024

The Consuming Fire (The Interdependency, #2)John Scalzi2024/12/23
The Circle That FitsKevin Lichty2024/12/16
The VegetarianHan Kang2024/12/11
The Collapsing Empire (The Interdependency, #1)John Scalzi2024/12/04
When We Cease to Understand the WorldBenjamín Labatut2024/12/04
After WorldDebbie Urbanski2024/11/26
The Mighty RedLouise Erdrich2024/11/24
A Sorceress Comes to CallT. Kingfisher2024/11/03
My Very End of the Universe: Five Novellas-in-Flash and a Study of the FormChris Bower2024/11/03
Creation LakeRachel Kushner2024/10/27
Buried Treasures: Reading the Book of Mormon Again for the First TimeMichael Austin2024/10/20
Last Argument of Kings (The First Law, #3)Joe Abercrombie2024/10/12
I Am Homeless If This Is Not My HomeLorrie Moore2024/10/03
Before They Are Hanged (The First Law, #2)Joe Abercrombie2024/09/29
The Blade Itself (The First Law, #1)Joe Abercrombie2024/09/21
Wife with KnifeMolly Giles2024/09/07
Dear Committee MembersJulie Schumacher2024/09/06
The Art of Brevity: Crafting the Very Short StoryGrant Faulkner2024/09/05
State of ParadiseLaura van den Berg2024/08/13
Titanium Noir (Titanium Noir #1)Nick Harkaway2024/08/08
Creative Writing: A Workbook with ReadingsJane Yeh2024/08/07
Jonathan Abernathy You Are KindMolly McGhee2024/08/01
OrbitalSamantha Harvey2024/07/24
Lone WomenVictor LaValle2024/07/20
The Color of Magic (Discworld, #1; Rincewind, #1)Terry Pratchett2024/07/12
This Year You Write Your NovelWalter Mosley2024/07/12
Flash Fiction America: 73 Very Short StoriesJames Thomas2024/07/08
Chain-Gang All-StarsNana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah2024/07/02
The Book of LoveKelly Link2024/06/28
TrustHernan Diaz2024/06/11
Legends & Lattes (Legends & Lattes, #1)Travis Baldree2024/05/28
Dead SilenceS.A. Barnes2024/05/24
DinosaursLydia Millet2024/05/18
Cut and ThirstMargaret Atwood2024/05/14
The Mountain in the SeaRay Nayler2024/05/11
City of Last Chances (The Tyrant Philosophers, #1)Adrian Tchaikovsky2024/05/10
MonstrilioGerardo Sámano Córdova2024/05/04
JamesPercival Everett2024/04/26
The Candy HouseJennifer Egan2024/03/29
Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries (Emily Wilde, #1)Heather Fawcett2024/03/14
System Collapse (The Murderbot Diaries, #7)Martha Wells2024/03/05
Mermaids in ParadiseLydia Millet2024/03/04
The Vaster WildsLauren Groff2024/02/29
A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk & Robot, #1)Becky  Chambers2024/02/18
The Saint of Bright DoorsVajra Chandrasekera2024/02/13
The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1)Richard Osman2024/02/02
Prophet SongPaul    Lynch2024/01/23
Coda, Vol. 1Simon Spurrier2024/01/12

Learning from Kushner

I enjoyed reading Creation Lake by Rachel Kushner. Like all good books, there is a lot that could be said about it. From sentence to sentence the writing seems strong to me. Here are two of the elements of craft of the many that stood out:

We read, “You simply don’t like her, I didn’t say.” Kushner directly states what her main character didn’t say, which lets readers know what the character knows and is considering but doesn’t do. It’s characterization by decision-making but decisions on paths not taken. Implying options the character has shares their world with readers. The economy of expression increases the tension at the sentence level as well.

I have tended to avoid spoilers, but describing the next technique without revealing interesting plot details is difficult. You might stop reading now, though I’ll keep things abstract. The main character is involved in spying for a mysterious organization. She provides reports and tries to influence the people she watches in minor ways. Tension increases for readers and the character when her assignment changes. The change means she is no longer employed to just deceive but to actually harm. It’s a simple and direct move by Kushner that grabbed me.